August has been such a long and full month! My goodness, I thought it would last forever! But here we are on the last day of the month, and here I am just like every month thus far this year with a brand new post on confidence. This one is all about how to be confident in your relationship. This month Jan and I celebrated our 2nd year wedding anniversary. So naturally I find it only fitting that I talk about how confidence can play a role in maintaining a successful relationship. Believe me, I can go on and on with examples for this month’s confidence category, but I cut it down to just a few.
- Trust and Honesty: We all know communication is the key to a great relationship. With that comes trust and honesty. If you are confident in yourself and what you bring to your relationship, you should have no reason to doubt your partners loyalty and commitment to you. You should trust that your partner knows how good they have it and know they wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the relationship. In other words, don’t be that girl/guy who is constantly monitoring their partners phone and Facebook likes… assuming that there’s dirt to be found. Now, if you actually have concrete proof or reason to believe that there is something dirty going on behind your back, then be honest. Bring your concerns to the table and address them head on. If you don’t trust a word your partner says, then there you have it. Zero trust and honesty equals a relationship with individuals who have zero confidence. Zero confidence in themselves and/or each other. Be honest with your insecurities, your dissatisfaction if any, and your overall concerns for you and your partner. This conversation should be easy to have with the person you love, and if it’s not, there is most definitely a problem. It can be hard to find someone that you can trust whole heatedly these days. Friends gossip to each other and relatives spread the word like wild fire between one another. So that one person you should always be able to count on for a listening ear, an honest opinion, and sealed lips when it comes to private matters is your partner.
- Looking to the Future: I find it odd when couples who have been together for a long time… lets say 2+ years are uncomfortable when it comes to talking about their future together. As if discussing the next step in their relationship is disastrous. Lets face it… We don’t get into relationships thinking about how soon it’s going to end! And for SOME of us nearing our late 20s / early 30s, we’re definitely not dating for funzies any more. At this point in life, we’re ready to find that one person we want to build our future with. Have children, travel the world together, etc. So if you want to show your sweetie you are confident with your relationship, talk about it! Talk about how great the relationship is, where you see it going, and how soon you anticipate taking that next step. On the other end of the spectrum, if you don’t see anything at all in the future together, better to stop wasting each others time and YOUTH while you still can! I know a number of people who are looking for “real love,” and are feeling anxious about their time clock running out and dying forever a lone!! LOL… Okay, that’s a bit exaggerated, but you know what I mean. There’s no reason to rush into a relationship because you think you’re too old or whatever the excuse may be. If you’re single, think about where you see yourself and the next 5 or 10 years. If you want kids, how early do you picture yourself having your first child. Based on that, you should be able to gauge whether you still have time to play, or if you need to set higher standards for your future person.
- Inspiring and Supporting: Telling your partner you support them isn’t half as important as showing them. Encourage each other as individuals and inspire each other by showing interests in each others goals, hobbies, etc. If your partner feels that you have confidence in them, that will build their confidence that much more. Jan is an amazing Graphic Designer, Music Producer, and Singer/Song Writer. He’s got unbelievable talent… and that’s something we can both say with confidence. To top it off he is pursing all of those skills professionally. He’s been working as a Graphic Designer for years, and as of this year, he has finally introduced the world to his first love, music. Check him out, and stay tuned for more! (shameless plug for my boo) But honestly, building each other up is a great way to show your partner how much you care and believe in them. I’ll always be Jan’s number one fan! And your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend should be your main cheerleader as well. I believe that when you see the person you love thriving at something they are passionate about, it encourages and inspires you to do the same. I’ve always admired Jan’s talent. Just the other day I was telling him how I wish I was a cool kid like him… making beats and all. But then he reminded me that I have talent of my own too. No matter what it is, “it’s yo thang… do what you wanna do.”